Is He Enough?

These past few weeks i've been learning just how dependent i've become on the internet. I've been back home now for 2 weeks and i'm dying! My grandma got rid of her dial up internet and so now there is absoltely no internet in the house. I thought i'd be fine, but i'm realizing how much I use the internet to look of things every day: the news, the weather, ok ok and facebook. At the same time, it's been kind of nice to have a break from my computer. I've been reading more without the internet and schoolwork to keep me busy. I am about halfway through Emma by Jane Austen, it is sooo good. I am also reading War of Words by Paul Tripp, it's really challenging me to be more intentional about how and what I communicate to others (encouraging communication is definitely not my strength). Tripp's whole premise is that our words are ultimately a reflection of our hearts. We need to work on our heart and out of the overflow of our hearts our mouth will speak. Once I finish War of Words the next book on the list is Desiring God by John Piper.

Last week I went out to San Diego with my grandma to visit my dad, brother, and my stepmom. It's amazing how much bigger Trey gets every time I see him. While I was there he asked Dad, "Dad, can Jenna just live with us all the time?" That broke my heart, I want to be there so badly to watch him grow up. But I am thankful that I get to see him a few times a year. I am praying that as he gets older we would be able to maintain a close relationship.
My brother and I last summer :)


Finally, I want to tell you about what i've been learning. On the drive home from Clemson I listened to great sermon by Joshua Harris. It's called, "Is He Enough?" and you can download it for free here (I would highly recommend it). It really challenged me to re-evaulate and ask myself again, is God really REALLY enough for me. I am beginning to understand how much more meaningful it is to say God is enough when we have been through the valley, like Asaph in Psalm 73. When we feel like everything has been stripped away and we go through what seems like never-ending pain it is so much more glorifying to God when we are ultimately able to say that He IS enough! I love the words in psalm 73:23-26,
"Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever."

Amy challenged me at our last discipleship meeting. She talked about how she longed to get to the place that if everything was taken away except her bible, she would still be able to say He is enough. I long for that too. I am so so so far from being there but it is my prayer that I would take up my cross daily and when I fall short I would continue to live by grace and remember God's forgiveness. I long for the person of Jesus to be my only satisfaction: not money, not a relationship, not friends, not family, not hopes and desires, not even ministry. I long for God to be the STRENGTH of my heart and my portion FOREVER.